Screwball comedies are a particular subspecies of the type Farcimus Maximus characterized by machine gun-paced dialog, pratfalls, and the idea of courtship as trial by verbal combat. It grew from mixing the free-wheeling mayhem of the Roaring Twenties with the “There’s a Depression on, you know” sass of the Thirties, and is one of the last comedy genres to really assume women are equal to men– equally screwy, that is. As delightful and sparkling as the genre is, there are some stinkers you should avoid. Fortunately, I’m here to help.
1932. Directed by Ernest Lubtisch. Starring Miriam Hopkins, Kay Francis, and Herbert Marshall. A comedy of manners in which two thieves fall in love only to find their relationship threatened when Gaston falls for the woman he’s trying to rob. This is not strictly a screwball comedy, but it has enough elements (battle of the sexes, clever dialogue, focus on class warfare) that we can safely call it a proto-screwball comedy. It’s short, clever, and absolutely effortless with its charm. The movie was made *before* the Hays Production Code of 1934, which mandated that virtue must be rewarded, evil must be punished, the sanctity of marriage must be upheld, and you couldn’t film a love scene unless each character had one foot on the floor (really!). As a result, “Trouble in Paradise” feels rather Continental. For example, an early shot features the two thieves kissing. Cut to a shot of the outside of their hotel door– a hand reaches out and hangs a “Do Not Disturb” sign on the doorknob. Similarly, the first dialogue we hear is the main thief, Gaston, speaking to a waiter about his upcoming rendezvous with Lily:
Gaston Monescu : It must be the most marvelous supper. We may not eat it, but it must be marvelous.
Sample dialog:
Gaston Monescu : Madame Colet, if I were your father, which fortunately I am not, and you made any attempt to handle your own business affairs, I would give you a good spanking–in a business way, of course.
Mariette Colet : What would you do if you were my secretary?
Gaston Monescu : The same thing.
Mariette Colet : You’re hired.
Mariette Colet : No, no, Francois, I tell you, no. You see, Francois, marriage is a beautiful mistake which two people make together. But with you, Francois, I think it would be a mistake.
1934. Featuring William Powell as Nick Charles, retired detective, and Myrna Loy as his wife Nora. It’s technically a murder mystery, but it’s really more of a stylish romantic comedy as the Charles’s swap wits and martinis (they’re constantly drinking). Based off of an equally delightful novel by Dashiell Hammett.
Sample dialog:
Reporter: Say listen, is he working on a case?
Nora Charles : Yes, he is.
Reporter: What case?
Nora Charles : A case of scotch. Pitch in and help him.
Nora: Alright, go on, see if I care. But I think it’s a rotten trick to take me to New York only to make a widow of me.
Nick: You wouldn’t be a widow for long.
Nora: You bet I wouldn’t.
Nick: Not with your money.
1934. Directed by Frank Capra before he got too corny. Starring Clark Gable as Peter Warren, a newspaper reporter, and Claudette Colbert as Ellie Andrews, an heiress who’s going cross-country incognito to be reuinted with her husband, whom her father disapproves of. This is the first movie to sweep the Academy awards– best picture, best actor, best actress, best screenplay, and best director.
Sample dialog:
Peter: I never did like the idea of sitting on newspaper. I did it once, and all the headlines came off on my white pants. On the level! It actually happened. Nobody bought a paper that day. They just followed me around over town and read the news on the seat of my pants.
[at a hotel]
Ellie: I just had the unpleasant sensation of hearing you referred to as my husband.
Peter: Oh yeah, I forgot to tell ya about that. I registered as Mr. and Mrs.
Ellie: Oh, you did…Well, what am I expected to do? Leap for joy?
Peter: I kinda half expected you to thank me.
Ellie: Your ego is absolutely colossal.
Peter: Yeah, yep. Not bad. How’s yours?
1934. Directed by Howard Hawks. Starring John Barrymore as the jealous, controlling ego-maniac theatre director who turns Carole Lombard into an equally monstrous selfish, screwy diva. This one is different from its brethren because the leads have almost no redeeming qualities– besides their hilarious over-acting. The movie’s only 91 minutes, but it does grate a bit on the nerves as every line is milked for histrionic effect. A word of appreciation is in order for Carole Lombard, who plays a selfish, neurotic, emotionally distraught diva perfectly; she’s appropriately satirical without being too annoying, which is no mean feat, especially as she played an innocent dizzy blonde in “My Man Godfrey” without being annoying either. The film belongs heart and soul to John Barrymore, who proves sometimes it takes a genius to play a hack– he points his finger and rolls his “r”s like every line is a Shakespearean soliloquoy.
Sample dialog:
Oscar Jaffe: If there is any justice in Heaven, Mildred Plotka, you’ll end up where you belong– in the burrrrrlesque house!
Oscar: Go on, Owen… tell her I’m dying… and DON’T OVERACT!
Lily: Yes, I tried to save you pain. I lied, yes, only to save you.
Oscar: That’s from “Sappho”!
1936. Featuring William Powell as Godfrey, a hobo-turned-Butler, and Carole Lombard as Irene, a dizzy heiress in an every screwier family. Most of the action takes place in Irene’s mansion, and the love story doubles as a social satire of the rich and brainless.
Sample dialog:
The Mother: You mustn’t come between Irene and Godfrey. He’s the first thing she’s shown any affection for since her pomeranian died last summer.
Godfrey : These flowers just came for you, miss. Where shall I put them?
Irene : What difference does it make where one puts one’s flowers when one’s heart is breaking?
Godfrey : Yes, miss. Shall I put them on the piano?Irene: [sobbing] Why can’t I sponsor Godfrey?
Mother: There there. [to Cornelia] You musn’t make fun of Irene. Don’t you remember her breakdown last year?
Cornelia: I certainly do. That’s why I’m paying no attention to this.
1937. A David O. Selznick picture. Written by Ben Hecht, who also did the screenplay for “His Girl Friday,” “Twentieth Century,” and “Notorious.” Starring Carole Lombard as Hazel Flagg, a girl who scams New York into thinking she’s dying of radium poisoning, and Frederick March as the reporter who falls for her story (and her). Surprisingly, the movie’s shot in primitive Technicolor, which looks lousy; however, it does add a certain warmth to the proceedings.
Sample dialog:
Schoolchildren: [To the tune of "Glory, Glory, Hallelujah"]:
Your demise we soon are fearing
Though your final hour’s nearing
Angels soon will be appearing
We salute you, Hazel Flagg!Oliver: I am sitting here, Mr.Cook, toying with the idea of cutting out your heart and stuffing it like an olive!
Wally: For good clean fun, there’s nothing like a wake.
Hazel: Oh please, let’s not talk shop.
1937. Featuring Cary Grant as Jerry, Irene Dunne as his wife Lucy, and Ralph Bellamy as the clueless “other man.” Jerry and Lucy become convinced the other is cheating on them, and their divorce degree will come through in 90 days; meanwhile, they become involved with the wrong people. A little slow in the middle, but the chemistry and pratfalls are marvelous.
Sample dialog:
Jerry: In the spring, a young man’s fancy lightly turns to, uh, what he’s been thinking about all winter.
Lucy: You don’t believe me!
Jerry: How could I! “His car broke down.” People stopped believing that one before cars started breaking down.
Lucy: Well his car’s very old.
Jerry: So’s his story.Armand: [to Jerry] I am a great teacher, not a great lover.
Lucy: That’s right, Armand. No-one could ever accuse you of being a great lover.
1938. Directed by the incomparable Howard Hawks. Starring Cary Grant as Dr. David Huxley, a straight-laced archeologist, and Katherine Hepburn as Susan, a fast-talking persistent flibberty-gibbet with a pet leopard. Perhaps the fastest-moving and most strictly farcical plot of the bunch– the plot involves a dinosaur bone, two leopards, mistaken identity, and law enforcement.
Sample dialog:
David: Now, just a moment, Susan. Don’t think that I don’t appreciate all you’ve done but…there are limits to what a man can bear. And besides that, tomorrow afternoon, I’m gonna get married!
Susan: Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. What for?
David: Well, because…Well anyway, I’m gonna get married, Susan, and don’t interrupt…Now my future wife has always regarded me as a man of some dignity. Privately, I’m convinced that I *have* some dignity. Now it isn’t that I don’t like you, Susan, because after all, in moments of quiet I’m strangely drawn toward you, but well, there haven’t been any quiet moments.[David sees a leopard in Susan's bathroom]
David: Susan, you have to leave this apartment!
Susan: But David I can’t, I have a lease.
Midnight
1939. Directed by Mitchell Leisen. Starring Claudette Colbert as a penniless showgirl who wanders around Paris in a gold lame’ gown. She connects with charming taxi driver Don Ameche but runs off to crash a fancy soiree’–only to run into drunken nobleman John Barrymore. Barrymore backs up Ms. Colbert’s bid to pass herself off as a Countess in exchange for her wooing a rich guy away from Barrymore’s wife. And then the taxi driver shows up, determined to find the girl he loves. The movie has a bit of a slow start, but once everyone shows up at Barrymore’s place in Versailles the situation gets increasingly complicated. This movie is also one of the few to have the heroine explain *why* she wants to choose money over love (hint: her poor parents? Not happy.) Elegant and effortless, this one coasts more on a Continental charm than whip-smart bon mots–though the situation twists at the end are great. Recommended.
Eve:Oh, I think it’s a dream on you. You know, it… it does something for your face: it gives you a chin.
Eve: I landed a lord, almost.
Tibor: Almost?
Eve: Well, the family came between us. His mother came to my hotel and offered me a bribe.
Tibor: You threw her out, I hope!
Eve: How could I, with my hands full of money?
1940. My favorite of the lot, but don’t hold it against me. Also directed by Howard Hawks, this one has the most rapid-fire dialogue in history. Starring Cary Grant as newspaper editor Walter Burns, and Rosalind Russell as Hildy Johnson, his ex-wife and former reporter. She’s about to quit the newspaper business and get married to a clueless Ralph Bellamy; Walter prevents both.
Sample dialog:
Walter: Look, Hildy, I only acted like any husband who didn’t want to see his home broken up.
Hildy: What home?
Walter: What home? Don’t you remember the home I promised you?
Hildy: Sure I do. That was the one we were to have right after the honeymoon. Ha, ha, that honeymoon.
Walter: I intended to be with you on our honeymoon, Hildy, honest I did.
Walter: This is bigger than anything that ever happened to us. Don’t do it for me, do it for the paper.
Hildy: Scram, Svengali.
Walter: Now look, if you won’t do it for love, how about money? Forget the other offer. I’ll raise you twenty-five bucks a week.
Hildy: Listen to me, you great big bumble-headed baboon.
Walter: I’ll make it thirty-five bucks and not a cent more.
Hildy: Walter, are you gonna listen?
Walter: But good grief, how much is that other paper gonna pay you?
Hildy: There isn’t any other paper.
Walter: Oh! Well in that case, the raise is off. You go back to your old salary.
1941. Directed by Preston Sturges. Starring Barbara Stanwyck as Jean, a confidence trickster and card sharp, and Henry Fonda as Charles Pike, a snake scientist and heir to a brewery fortune. They fall in love, complications ensue, and Jean decides to teach Charles a lesson. It’s not quite as screwy as the others; this one’s more of a comedy of manners.
Sample dialog:
Charles: I was just gonna say I could imagine a life with you being a series of ups and downs, lights and shadows, some irritation, but very much happiness.
Jean: Why Hopsie! Are you proposing to me so soon?
Charles: No, of course not. I’m just…
Jean: Then you ought to be more careful. People have been sued for much less.
Jean: I need him like the axe needs the turkey.
1942. Directed by Preston Sturges. Starring Claudette Colbert and Joel McCrea. The last of the screwball comedies, by most estimations. Claudette and Joel play Gerry and Tom Jeffers, a married couple in tight financial straights; Gerry decides to go to Palm Beach to get a divorce so she can land a rich man and help Tom fund his invention. Tom follows her and they become involved with a penny-pinching millionnaire named Hackensacker and a man-hungry Countess. As a word of warning, there is a brief, slightly racist scene involving a black porter.
Sample dialog:
Gerry: I may not even get married again. I might become an adventuress.
Tom: I can just see you starting for China on a twenty-six foot sail boat.
Gerry: You’re thinking of an adventurer, dear. An adventuress never goes on anything under three hundred feet with a crew of eighty.
Hackensacker: The homely virtues are so hard to find these days. A woman who can sew and cook and bake, even if she doesn’t have to. And knit -
Gerry: And weave!
Hackensacker: You’re joking, but I mean seriously, that is a woman.
Gerry: Were you going to buy me some breakfast, or would you like me to bake you something right here at the table?
Hackensacker: I like a witty woman, too.
1942. Directed by Ernest Lubitsch. Starring Jack Benny, Carole Lombard, and a Hitler look-alike. It’s a very black comedy/satire about an unemployed troup of hammy Polish actors trying to outwit the Gestapo. The tone is a bit uneven– a farcical scene will be followed by a scene of starving Polish peasants– but the fact that it was filmed during WWII makes it one of the braver comedy experiments out there. Carole Lombard’s last film performance; she died in a plane crash soon afterwards. This movie is not for everybody– a recurring joke is that when the Polish actors are pretending to be Gestapo members and they don’t know what to say, they just erupt into a chorus of “Heil Hitlers.” But if you liked “the Producers” or “Dr. Strangelove,” you’ll get a kick out of this.
Sample dialog:
Greenberg : Mr. Rawitch, what you are I wouldn’t eat.
Rawitch : How dare you call me a ham?
Maria Tura : It’s becoming ridiculous the way you grab attention. If I tell a joke, you finish it. If I go on a diet, you lose the weight. If I have a cold, you cough. And if we should ever have a baby, I’m not so sure I’d be the mother.
Josef Tura : I’m satisfied to be the father.
Nazi Lieutenant: [speaking of Jack Benny's character] What he did to Shakespeare, we are now doing to Poland.
